So I went going to the Union Square fair to buy Christmas presents for my family, as I do. When I got to Union Square it was extremely crowded, almost too crowded even for me. There was this guy standing on the corner looking around the crowd in almost a searching/questing/questioning manner, sort of slowly turning around in circles as though looking for someone to help. As I passed him he said, “Is anyone here from New York?” So of course, I immediately said, “Oh—I am!” Because from the way he was acting I assumed that what he really needed was directions as he seemed lost.
Well it turns out he did NOT need directions, no. It turns out he was a sales guy who was desperate to sell me a haircut. I have gotten myself into this type of situation before, the type of situation in which someone really wants to sell me something/pitch me something and what I should say is, “Sorry not interested,” and quickly walk away like EVERY OTHER PERSON ON THE PLANET. Except I don’t walk away quickly because I feel bad and he just wants to tell me about this haircut and really is that too much to ask that I give him five minutes of my time? So instead I sort of stayed and listened to this guy (Quin) give his spiel for a minute. But then as I’m standing there and he’s talking, I realize that I’m actually being very rude, wasting his time when I don’t intend to purchase anything. That’s when the panic starts to set in and I try to untangle myself from the situation only to find that I’ve sunk way, way too deep into the hole.
Hmm. This has definitely happened before. Too many times.
So anyway, Quin starts really giving me the VERY hard sell. He’s been working it for about ten minutes or more, while I’m getting increasingly shifty and looking for an escape route. I start pulling out every excuse in the book, and he starts pulling out every solution. First I tell him that I don’t buy things on the street, to which he’s like "Oh but we use the same card system that any of these vendors at the union square fair use it’s totes legit.” And then I’m like “yeah but I really like to read reviews of products before I buy them.” And he’s like "OH I can get reviews for you right now on my phone see here they are, all of them fabulous.” And then I’m like “$70 is a lot of money for me, I’m quite poor." And he’s like “ok, make it $35.”
At that point, I gave up. I was like “Dude. You win. You are working so hard. You got me. I will buy your $35 haircut.” And I did. As I got out my wallet, I told him that the only reason I decided to buy is because he gave that sell 110% and he just plain earned it.
Then after I paid, he was all “So, where are you from?? Not the city, surely.” And I was all, “no, no. This is where I’m from.” and he said, “But you’re so……. Nice….” (oh, you mean innocent and naïve and no actual New Yorker would buy your stupid haircut? Yeah.) and I said “I know, I get that a lot. But the high school I went to was two blocks east of here and the apartment I grew up in is four blocks south of here.” He said, surprised, “So this is actually your hood.” “Yup. This is my hood. I just turned out nice I guess.”
But whatever. I am going to use this haircut. I made an appointment for this evening. And also, $35 dollars for a haircut in New York is a legitimate good deal. So maybe it was a win-win? I guess we will know tonight...