Wednesday, October 3, 2012

New York: Not All of Our People Are Assholes

If you are a tourist visiting the city and you ask me for directions on the street, I will always give them to you. In fact, I do get asked for directions about five times or so a day, but unfortunately I think most people end up feeling sorry they asked me because I tend to launch into a long winded and ultimately unhelpful response that includes a lot of arm gesturing and "go this ways" instead of "left" or "right" (.... because I don't know my left from my right...). And in ANY case, why don't I just walk you where you're going because it's just easiest for everyone and it'll only take ten minutes.

And this usually ends up being an extremely awkward ten minutes for everyone.

Additionally, most people, after meeting and talking to me, are surprised to hear that I'm a natural born New Yorker. Like, I seem so "laid back" and "go with the flow" that I must be from California or... Kansas (seriously, someone once thought I was from Kansas). To me, this just proves that disguise I'm wearing (typically greasy hair and a worn out t-shirt) is working because... In truth I'm actually very high strung.

So Basically what I'm saying is: I am from New York and I am not an asshole.

And neither is my cousin, whose birthday is today (although she's not technically a New Yorker so I'm not sure that counts!).

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