NYC Transport

New York is not a driving city. That is, unless you're my mom, who fits right in with the very best of the cab drivers. But for pretty much all of the other city dwellers, driving is not a realistic option. I mean, where are you going to park the car? On the street? Yeah, good luck finding a space. In a garage? That's only an option if you're willing to pay as much to park your car as you would for an apartment in another city. Then there's the task of driving itself, which is enough to raise one's heart rate well into the 200s. So, as I say, for most New Yorkers, driving is just... It's just no. But that's ok! We all moved here because we don't like driving anyway. And there are so many wonderful modes of transport available to us!... right?

Cabs: Taking a NYC cab is like spending a bajillion dollars to stare death in the face. Except literally, that's what it's like. Just sitting down in a cab and closing the door will cost you $2.50, which is the total it would cost you to just take the damn subway. I like to tell myself that taking a cab is a luxury I reserve for special occasions. Monday mornings, for example. Except then, when I'm sitting in the cab, I remember how uncomfortable it is to live for fifteen minutes with your heart beating in your throat. Cab drivers are like reckless daredevils, what with the weaving and the short stopping and the pedestrians who don't care whether they live or die. Oh, and now you're 10 minutes late for work thanks to traffic! That will be $30. Have a nice day!
Things I don't approve of in a cab: Wearing a seat belt. Because if you're going to look death in the face, you might as well go all the way.

Subways: Do you honestly care about your personal space? Because if so, the subway may not be for you. It's convenient, certainly, but our city's subway is like a tiny tin can, packed with sardines, zooming around beneath the sidewalk. A crowded subway is almost a unifying experience: you must cuddle up to your fellow man and try not to stick your armpit in anybody's face. Or have anybody else's armpit stuck in your face. Good luck with that, by the way. But at least you only paid $2.50 for this. So, in my opinion: totally worth it.
Things I don't approve of on the subway: I've previously discussed my distaste for people who take up more than one seat, but today I was reminded that there is something I hate even more: people who bring their bicycles on the subway. People, what are you thinking? Do you know how much space a bicycle takes up on a crowded train? Uhm, way too much.

Speaking of the Bicycle: It is free! And we do have bike lanes now. But do you want to die?
Things I don't approve of on a bicycle: NOT WEARING A HELMET (she reprimands her bicycle-riding-boyfriend via the internet). Also thinking you're totally invincible and racing cars down the avenues (AGAIN WITH THE REPRIMANDS). You are not invincible!! Especially if you are also not wearing a helmet.

Yes, so, if none of these options seem at all appealing to my many, many, MANY readers... well, it's a good thing you can always walk (depending on your time and level of endurance of course). Otherwise you'd have to get a razor scooter.