My uncle makes the dinner every year. All joking aside, this is pretty much the greatest thing on the planet and is not to be missed.
This year he made: Turkey (probably my least favorite item on the Thanksgiving menu, but I guess it's a must), mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, stuffing that was in the turkey, the same stuffing but cooked outside the turkey, and another completely separate type of stuffing, green beans (those barely made it onto my plate), broccoli, creamed onions, cranberry sauce, and gravy. I'm sure I'm forgetting something, but suffice to say that if that if there was a Thanksgiving event at the Olympics, he would get the gold medal.
Oh, and who attends this Thanksgiving feast you ask? Just our family. I know, everyone else in the world is missing out. I almost feel a little bit bad about this but on the other hand I am terrible at sharing.
Here is a picture of my plate right before I sat down to consume it:
I know what you're thinking: if I hadn't wasted so much precious plate space on green beans and turkey, I would have had WAY more room for stuffing. Classic mistake.
Ok so, now it's time to get real. Not to brag or anything, but I usually win Thanksgiving. And by "win" I mean that I always eat the most and have to sit down the hardest afterward. Well, this year I was ready for my next championship. I wore an outfit with a lot of give. I exercised my stomach muscles by eating a lot of appetizers (that's a science). And most of all, I made sure to prepare all of my family members for the eventuality of a my victory. Let there be no doubt!!! I had this one in the bag, I assured them.
WELL I LOST. Ok? My youngest cousin was our apparent "dark horse," and she totally kicked my ass this year. I never saw the challenge coming. But while I was barely managing my first plate of food, she was going back for seconds. And then thirds. And then, when I relented and practically died a death by overeating, she was claiming "that she still didn't feel full."
Yes, it was an outrage and I'm still recovering.
Meanwhile, I did do my part to contribute to the Thanksgiving meal: I made the two apple pies. Here's one of them:
I am pretty sure that was a delicious pie, but I hardly noticed when I was stuffing a piece into my mouth last night. At that point, I was so full I was in pain. Serious pain. Also this pie was one of SEVEN pies we had. Yes, seven. You are probably hoping that I have a huge family so that the number of pies is proportional and makes sense. I'll just go ahead and tell you that uhm, we don't and it doesn't. There were fourteen people at the dinner. Total. How fourteen people were supposed to make a dent in seven pies after eating the feast my uncle made... well, let's just say we didn't stand a chance. Not by a long shot.
After the pies, I seriously didn't think I'd ever be able to eat again for days.... And yet, somehow when I got home with the leftovers, I couldn't resist the temptation to eat approximately five more servings of stuffing. It was only after the 210th bite that I finally managed to put the fork down and the stuffing away. At that point, the amount of stomach pain I was in started to outweigh the deliciousness of the food I was eating -- yes, it took that long. And I would officially never be hungry again.
In fact, it is more than a day later and I'm still uncomfortably full. Right now. The fact that I haven't written anything about Thanksgiving before now is because I have been in a food coma for the past 24hrs.
Sigh, and isn't that exactly what Thanksgiving is about?
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