To All People Who Think It's Ok To Take Up Two Seats on a Crowded Subway, One for Them and One for Their Bag:
The answer is no. Just no. I'm sorry. Put your bag on your lap like everyone else.
Love, Jane
And while we're on the topic of subways...
To The MTA:
Why bother having those electronic schedules that are supposed tell you how long until the next train if they are always wrong? Always? Why tell me it's 5 minutes until the next express train if what you really mean is 0 minutes? And it's only right after I bite my nails, make a last minute decision to hop on the local, and the doors are closing -- that I hear the inevitable: "There. Is. An... Express... 2... Train. Now. Arriving."
You are screwing with my blood pressure.
Love, Jane
And lastly...
To The People Who Think I'm Staring At Them on the Subway:
I'm not! I swear!
Sometimes, when I'm thinking, my eyes fixate on an object and I don't even realize... It's true! Believe me, when I realized I was ACCIDENTALLY staring, I felt as uncomfortable as you did. That's why I had to look away and then look back and then look away again permanently.
Ok this is getting awkward.
Love, Jane
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