More Jewishness

We celebrated Yom Kippur (the Day of Atonement) in my household yesterday. Celebrated? Is that the right word considering it’s supposed to be all about repenting one’s sins and what not? Well, whatever – I personally celebrated by taking a holiday from work.

Things one is supposed to do on Yom Kippur:

1.       Go to Temple for ninety million hours.

2.       Fast for an entire day (from sundown to sundown).

3.       And, well, eating kosher is recommended.

4.       As is feeling feelings of guilt and atonement so that you may earn God’s favor.

Things that I did on Yom Kippur:

1.       Took the day off from work

2.       Took a nap

3.       Went to the gym (which is like temple in that I felt dutifully punished)

4.       Broke my fast (except without the fasting) by eating ALL THE FOODS POSSIBLE. And by that I mean:

A bagel slathered with cream cheese (or should I say “smeared”), a piece of quiche, some entirely too delicious pate (I know it’s liver but I love it), hummus, Stacey’s Pita Chips (can I just take a minute to give Stacey a shout out for her pita chips? They are the best. Ever.), goat cheese, gouda cheese, cracker cheese, cream cheese (did I mention that one already) and, topping the whole thing off, two Rainbow cookies. Are they called rainbow cookies? The kind with the three layers and the jam in the middle and hot damn they are so delicious?

After I had finished consuming this monstrous pile of food I had to lie on the floor – on the FLOOR – and groan for a few hours because my god, my stomach. I looked like I had swallowed a beach ball and I felt like it too. Gross. On the other hand, if Yom Kippur is supposed to be a day of suffering, well then let me tell ya: how I suffered.

Also, today I am fasting again! Mostly because I’m not hungry yet; my body is still working through yesterday’s disaster-fest.  

But I’m sure I’ll be ravenously hungry by dinnertime. Or by 3:00pm. Or now. Good thing we have lots of leftover bagels!

Happy Jewish New Year!